January 11, 2008

Famous Stamper drowns...

When she took card with mulitple layers in a row boat on the lake and the boat sank from the weight.

Well, not really, but it seems like the weight of my cards is increasing dramatically.

I mean, I used to be a two, three layer person. Now, I find I can add as many as 7 layers (though they are not all the same size or close to the same size as the card front)! You know what?!?!?

I think it's a plot by the Postal Service!!! They all sat around some table in Washington, D.C., thinking up the best way to make more postage $$$ and this is what they came up with:

a) raise the price of stamps
b) encourage stampers to add mulitple layers, lots of ribbon, buttons and lumpy embellishments and then...
c) charge extra for bumpy envelopes.

They've DONE THIS TO US!!! And the worst thing is, we LIKE IT so much that we think WE are the ones that came up with these ideas, when all along these people have been planted among us, like the Invasion of the Body Snatchers, to indoctrinate us into the Church of Layeriontology!! Just so they can make money off of us!

Well, I mean to fight back! I'm going to stop this insanity! Are you with me? Are you?

Great! But I'm not ready to do it yet, 'cause I have this ONE card to show you:

Embracelife011108














Ingredients: Stamps - Embrace Life; Paper - Ginger Blossom DP, River Rock, Chocolate Chip, Groovy Guava, Whisper White; Ink - Basic Black, Chocolate Chip; Other - Word Window punch, Ticket Corner Punch, Pretty in Pink taffeta ribbon, Fire square rhinestone brads, chocolate chip marker, Dazzling Diamonds glitter.

Is this not GOJUS!!! This is the Mojo Monday sketch from Julee Tilman's blog Poetic Artistry. I am lerving this paper and this stamp set and I love this sketch...I'm going to use it again, and again, and again...and...

Wait a minute! How can I use this again with all the layers!! How can I remain true to my resolve to quit the Church of Layeriontology?!?!?

Wait a minute...one of my New Year's resolutions (such as they were) was to use more paper, right? Well, then I should be happy about this multi-layered card, because I used up a LOT Of paper doing it!

So it's okay! I'm good! I can feel good about myself again and get rid of the guilt! Use more paper! Vive les layers!

Sucked me back in again, didn't they?

February 08, 2007

Well-known stamp artist collapses...

Well known stamp artist, Jan Tinklenberg, collapsed Thursday morning under an avalanche of tins she herself had collected and stored in her house.Tinavalanche











"I guess she went to get one out of a stack of bag and cartons and they just came crashing down around her," her husband, Dan Tinklenberg, said, "She's been obsessed with the things lately! We've all learned to be cautious opening closet doors and cabinets for fear that tins will fall out." Mr. Tinklenberg seemed exasperated, though resigned. "They make her happy, these tins, " he said, "I've heard her muttering in her sleep lately, 'Maybe there's more tins at the Michael's in Novi....' I just wish she'd either sell a few or give some of them away...I'm getting sick of the piles and piles. But she does make some pretty cool things out of them." Mr. Tinklenberg showed us the following example, and we have to agree, he's right, this is COOL!

Monamitin0207











Mrs. Tinklenberg was treated and released on her own insistance. "My Spring Mini catalog order is coming by UPS this afternoon!" she was heard to shriek, "No friggin' way am I staying in this hospital!" The hospital declined to comment.

December 18, 2006

THEY ARE DONE...JanTink's Laws of Swapping

First, let me thank those who came to visit in the past few days. If you didn't notice the Stamping Top 50 button further down on the right side, you folks took me from lowly 332 to 68 in 3 days!

Of course, this puts enormous pressure on me, you know (and it's all about me, let's just admit it!) How do I follow up such a successful post? But, I'm so nice (you knew that!) that I just have to try and do my best.

The swaps are done, done, done; in spite of swapitis, church obligations, having to take a bash at cleaning and cooking now and then and dealing with whining children ("Mom, I don't have any clean underwear!", "Mommy, I don't have any warm pajamas and I'm sooo cold!", "Mom, I need a Secret Santa gift for school tomorrow!!" (it's 6 PM on Sunday when I hear this, BTW), "Mommy, I need you to put the sheet back on my bed!" (ya know, if you didn't JUMP on your bed like Kevin in Home Alone, you wouldn't have to have me putting your sheet back on all the time!!!))

ANYWAY, here they are, ready to pop in the mail. Are you looking, Lisa? You don't need to worry about getting mine in time and you can call off the hit squad of stamping goons you were poised to send after me. You don't think Lisa has a squad of stamping goons? Well, you just try and send your swaps late and you'll find out! Lisa, I really, really like you...please don't hurt me!

Anyway, in the process of getting these wonderful swaps done, I've developed the following:

JanTink's Laws of Swapping (or other mass production of cards)

Law #1: You will choose at least one material for your swap that you are going to run out of before you finish, necessitating calls to stamping friends, upline, downline, anybody that might have some of what you need. Mine is always ribbon. I had to make a run to my upline's house last night to borrow more black gingham. I picked her because she always calls me when she runs short, plus I had some stuff that was hers I needed to deliver. The last time, I came very close to running out of pink gingham, but I switched the positioning of the caramel and pink gingham ribbon on the very last swap and squeaked by, but just barely.

Of course, you will not discover your shortfall in time to order more. And that item will be the one thing that makes your card absolutely perfect, so you can't substitute or leave it off altogether. And on occasion, you have to resort to finding the next best thing at that store we all try not to talk about too much...you know, the one with the [whispers] C-O-U-P-O-N. Shhh...

Law #2: You will have at least one step on your swap that you hate doing. Sometimes it's more. You will ask yourself many times, "Why, oh why did I decide to (cut out, do polished stone, watercolor the image, emboss...fill in the blank) when I could have just done something much simpler instead???" These steps are not hateful when you only have to do one, but when you have to make many, many, many of them, you grow to hate doing it.

Law #3: Something that usually works brilliantly will stop working in the process of doing your swaps. Glue dots that stuck wonderfully when you made your sample will stop sticking. Dimensional backings start refusing to come off. Embossing powder will not melt the way it did before. You may find your own hands, that normally are so skilled, will betray you. Tying knots becomes a challenge, you burn yourself embossing, you end up with ink on body parts you never thought you could get ink on, glitter gets up your nose (not that there's anything wrong with that!), in your eyes, in your hair.

Law #4: You will spend a lot of time asking yourself, "Why do I do this to myself!!!"

Law #5: You will get your answer when you get lots and lots of lovely swaps back.

Law #6: You will get the swaps back and never mind that they whole point of doing them is so you don't have to buy so many sets from the mini catalog, it will cause you to buy more sets from the mini catalog anyway. It's inevitable. At least that's true when you swap with the awesome ladies I swap with. You know what I think? [lowers voice and moves a little closer] I think that Shelli Gardner (may she live forever) has some of these people on her payroll. They make these objects of psychic resonance and send them to me and then I have to buy more sets. It's the only explanation I have for it...yes, these ladies are talented, but I think there is more to it than that! It's a conspiracy!

Law #7: Your stamping space, after you are done making your swaps, will look like hundreds of mischievous elves were partying all night in there when they were interrupted by a herd of stampeding rhinocerouses who were all running from the cyclone that came sweeping in immediately afterwards.

So now this swap is over with. It only remains to package them up, print my label off the USPS website, and give them to my carrier.

But you know what? [glances around, furtively] I haven't made my customer Christmas cards yet, so you can guess what I'll be doing for the next few days! I have a ton of cards already made that I can send to my family and friends, but nothing for the customers yet...I feel a bad case of Christmas-carditis coming on....send chocolate!

November 30, 2006

Glittertosis

I'm afraid I have some bad news.

After all those cards with glitter and the one I made for our group swap, I have had to declare my stamp room an environmental hazard zone. I was bored last night and did a search on google on glitter and to my horror, I found an entire website about the hazards of glitter! There was this description of a new syndrome doctors have discovered, called Glittertosis. There was this segment about a recent news conference held by doctors expert in this syndrome:

"Glittertosis is an addictive syndrome we have been seeing a lot lately," said Dr. Imnotastamper, "It's characterized by fits of giddiness, an incurable desire to sprinkle glitter on everything, and the tendency to look on the sunny side of life all the time. As everyone knows, life is serious stuff and this can be very dangerous. If more people were realistic and decided that life is a burden that must be born, we would all be better off!" Dr. Imnotastamper left the stage as a chorus of booing broke out and glitter was flung after him as he held a handkerchief in front of his face.

Back stage, Dr. Imnotastamper explained that glittertosis is pervasive and is contracted by breathing and, yes, ingesting glitter. He said that it starts slowly because most people don't realize that they are actually eating tiny particles of glitter that cling to their clothing and their skin and drop into their food. "Extreme care must be taken to use glitter sparingly and to thoroughly clean your hands, hair and clothing afterwards. I recommend a complete change of clothing and a shower after using glitter at any time. But even better, don't use it at all!"

Out in the audience, a skeptical glitter user said, "I don't think he knows what he is talking about! I've been using glitter for years. I can stop any time I want to!" She paused to sneeze and I noticed a lot of glitter flying about as she did so. "Glitter makes me happy!" she said with a manic grin. Turning aside as if to hide what she was doing, she pulled out a small jar and proceeded to croon, "Sooooo pretty!" as she stirred the glitter with a tiny spoon. "What are you looking at?!" she shrieked as my cameraman tried to get a closer look. She left the conference room and headed for the rest room. One hates to speculate, but when she came out she was rubbing her nose as if it were itchy and had a glassy, euphoric expression on her face.

Well, anyway...there will have to be a lot of cleaning going on downstairs to make it fit for human habitation again. In the meantime, I know you guys...you always, always want more! And I can bet you have all been saying, "JAN!!! When are you going to start showing us what you are making with your new Winter mini sets!!!!" Okay, okay...I've really had a hard time getting going with this stuff, why, I don't know (well, see my last post for a good list of excuses.) But at last, I do have two things to show you...then you will just have to wait for me to do some more!

Okay, here's my swap for Controlfreaks...I understand that SOME of you in the swap have gotten yours already...mine BETTER be in the mail today or I will suffer a serious melt-down!!!


And here's what I made for last night's group meeting. The steam is embossed with Irridescent Ice EP after being stamped with white craft ink...sooo pretty....what are you looking at!?!?!?!

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Change is good

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Aids to Demystification

  • My blog header uses the Funky Florals Digital Kit by Jeanine Baechtold available at ComputerScrapbook.com.
  • Rubbah-dultery - Being unfaithful to my Stampin' Up! stamps
  • RAK - Random Act of Kindness
  • All comments are moderated, so it may take a while for yours to appear!
  • YILM! - Yes, I love myself!

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