Stamps, Paper, Scissors

It's not easy....

not getting nostalgic when I look at this project for the Artisan contest.

I had already scrapped these photos, but they were the original prints, which were developed from film. Can you imagine that? We now have to explain to children that once we used to use a piece of plastic with chemicals on it to make pictures, instead of shooting them directly onto a computer chip. How things have changed and how OLD it makes me feel!

So, ANYWAY, the pictures were a bit on the green side and not as nice as a bit of tweaking in Photoshop could make them. And I certainly loved the photos and thought they would give any scrapbook page I did with them a nice lift. And, of course, I wanted to use this FAB paper and what better than Easter photos to go with it? So I scanned the photos in right off the scrapbook pages and got started. Sniffle...they were so purty in their dresses and little hats...all they really needed were gloves, but it's hard finding those, much less finding little girls that will wear them. Lookie:

Ingredients: (All SU!) Stamps - Special Blessings; Paper - Tea Party DSP, Almost Amethyst DSP, Barely Banana, Certainly Celery, Pretty in Pink. Vellum cardstock; Ink - Versamark, Pretty in Pink; Other - SU! Beautiful Butterflies Bigz die, Sizzlit GoGo Boots alphabet, Whisper White Organza ribbon, Pretties kit, Pretty in Pink taffeta ribbon, eyelet border punch, Soft Subtles Brads, Sweetest Stem Embosslit, white gel pen, sponge wedges, dimensionals, white EP

GOJUS!!! (YILM!) and I'm not just talking about the page! What sweet faces! Now Emily is only found in a ball cap, with all that curly hair bundled back in a pony tail. She's turned into a real tom boy, but still likes painting her toenails, so there is hope. Whereas Laurel is still a very girly girl. Sigh...

Sniffle...so sweet...

Now here's a good reason to cry...who cares about Artisan Awards when you've had the wonderful experience of raising little girls and getting to dress them up in pretty dresses. Life has it's compensations, after all. Ta!

In which I prove to what lengths I will go....

to win fame and fortune and get my face on a Stampies box. To be on the cover of the Rollin' Wheel!

Well, I'm a big ole stamper
I got golden fingers
And I'm loved everywhere I go..... (that sounds like me)
I stamp about beauty and I stamp about truth
At ten-thousand dollars a show..... (right)
I use all kinds of stamps that give me all kind of thrills
But the thrill I've never known
Is the thrill that'll gitcha when you get your picture
On the cover of the Rollin' Wheel!

Wanna get my picture on the cover,
Wanna buy five copies for my mother,
Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rollin' Wheel! On the cover of the Rollin' Wheel!

(yes, Dr. Hook haunted my youth...that's my excuse and I'm STICKIN TO IT!)

The card you are about to see, part of my Artisan UNaward winning entries, took...cough...a while to make. And by the time I was done, my eyes were blood-shot, my fingertips were sore from being poked with the scissors and tiny pieces of cardstock, and I needed some chocolate therapy in just the worst way. But I thought it was all worth it. At least, at the time I did. Not so sure now. Lookie:

Ingredients: (all SU!) Stamps - Scene in a Garden, Oval All, Itty Bitty Backgrounds; Paper - Sahara Sand, Very Vanilla, Handsome Hunter, More Mustard; Ink - Stazon Jet Black, Handsome Hunter, Elegant Eggplant, and lots and lots of different colors for painting don't ask me to remember I have a headache!; Other - Large Oval Punch, Circle Scissors, 3/16" corner rounding punch, aquapainter, white gel pen, Basic Black gingam ribbon, Vintage brads, dimensionals, sponge wedges.

If you pop the photo out to look at it and do this  you'll find that it's done with paper tole. The edge of the table, each blade of the windmill, the vase (barely visible on the right side), the edges of the pots...all popped up on dimensionals (gee...sounds like a drug thing, LOL! Hey, man, don't bother Jan, 'cause she's all POPPED UP ON DIMENSIONALS, man!)

Yes, this card is just another reason why I say, "WHY NOT ME?!?!?" Oh well...the pain grows less every day, though the rear grows wider from the chocolate therapy.

I have realized, though, that if I hadn't sent this particular card to SU!, I would probably never have sent it to anyone. I wouldn't have been able to part with it. I probably would have framed it. The thought of doing another one, though, so I could frame it makes me want to 

Instead, I think I'm going to go get popped up on some dimensionals...that is, play with my new SCHTUFF! I had to let it set her for a while because I had a test I needed to turn in. But now I am free! Free to stamp, free to get inky! What could be better than that?

Shhh...don't say "a $500 catalog shopping spree, $500 in cash, free stuff every month for a year, and dinner with Shelli (may she live forever!)" I don't want to go there. Ta!

Out for delivery!!!

I'm just a little excited. Not all that much.

Okay, I'm a lot excited!

I've cleared my schedule by getting all my medical transcription homework done and sent in on Saturday, despite one of the dictations I had to transcribe that was dictated by a doctor that I swear was Ozzie Osbourne (or maybe a close relative!) The instructors remind us that when doctors have time to dictate, they are sometimes very tired and it is not amazing that they can't always speak clearly.

So now with the homework out of the way, I have this tiny window of opportunity today to drool over all my new schtuff and hopefully get to use it at some point too! If softball will let me, that is. two games tonight (maybe I can get Dan to take them? Some serious flirting will have to be done! ) Before my password for my next assessment comes, which assessment is due July 13th, so I will have to work very hard to get it done.

I did get some cards made yesterday, which was my point in getting the homework done by Saturday. I could finally relax (after church, that is) and actually play with the two hostess sets I purchased ahead of time! But after church, I ended up with a migraine that I pretty much had to sleep off to get rid of. So I didn't get as much stamping in as I might have wished but I got some, anyway.

But I'm not going to show you those, because I still have four more Artisan UnAward winning projects to show, and dang it, I need to get them out on the table so I can (sob) heal and move on with my life. So without further ado (or doo doo) here is one more:

Ingredients: (all SU!) Stamps - Soft Summer; Paper - Parisian Breeze DSP, Confetti White; Ink - Baja Breeze, Chocolate Chip, Kiwi Kiss, So Saffron; Other - Box with Scallop Bigz Die, 1/2" circle punch, paper piercing tool, Vintage brads, Chocolate Chip Taffeta ribbon, eyelets, natural hemp.

Yep, it's GOJUS!!! (YILM!)                      

Wait! Did I hear a truck? It is, after all, 10:30, so if it's on the morning truck, it might be on my porch already!!!

(sounds of crashing and thumping footsteps, a door squeaking as it is swung wide, a moment of silence, then the door thuds shut again, footsteps return, more slowly...)

Or not. UPS, where are you?

I have a new disease

You don't need to worry about having this one unless you are a demonstrator. It's a seasonal disease, occurring quite often during preorder periods and on the occasions of first orders from new catalogs. What is the name of this horrible disorder?

Demonstratively Unprofitable Mathematics Due to Unusual Mental Stimulus Syndrome, sometimes known by the acronym DUMDUMSS, but more usually, the brief form "Demo Math".

What is Demo Math? It's a disease involving convoluted mental processes which are employed by demonstrators suffering from this syndrome, which involve much consultation of the hostess benefit tables, Great Rewards charts, the Career Plan and sometimes even the mini catalog earning tables. It is caused by over-stimulus from viewing too many cool new products in the catalog, causing long wish lists to be made as well as burning out many cheap dollar store calculators (unless the demo has a spreadsheet program), chewed pencils, and late hours revising the list yet AGAIN. Staring into space and muttering under the breath are often noted, as the tortuous inner dialog created by the disease gets under way. Secretiveness is also a presenting symptom, with demonstrators sometimes even telling their spouses that the big box of merchandise that arrives sometime after a DUMDUMSS episode was a free gift from the company.

Here is a common inner dialog of a demonstrator suffering from DUMDUMSS during a new catalog launch. To make this simpler, we will name the two sides of the dialog as Demo and DUMDUMSS (if it helps, here's a little illustration that will help you with the mental picture you are forming as you read this):

Demo: I'm only going to spend $200. Really. I don't need to order everything at once, much more fun to spread out all the goodies over the entire year this catalog is in effect. Right?

DUMDUMSS: Welllllll....ya know....you should really add THIS to your order. If you get THIS you could use it at your next class!

Demo: Wow! I hadn't thought about that, but you are right! That would be perfect for my next class! Oh...but then, I'm over $200..more like $230. Should I take something off?

DUMDUMSS: NO! Er...instead, maybe you should bump your order up to $250! Because then you would get $5 more in hostess benefits! Instead of getting that $19.95 set you planned on getting, you could get THIS one instead that is $24.95! And if you move the $19.95 over to your merchandise total, you would easily have $250!

Demo: Ohhhkay...I see what you are saying. But wait...I forgot I needed some supplies for my next class. I really need to take some things off so I can fit those on...they are, after all, more important than just getting new stuff.

DUMDUMSS: Don't do that!!! Um...I mean, really, you need all of this stuff! What would you take off? This? You are using it for swaps! That? You need that for what's-her-name's next workshop! And that and that and THAT you need for classes. Nope. You have to order all this stuff!

Demo: Oh...you're right. Hmmmm. Guess I need to sell a few more retired things!

DUMDUMSS: That's the ticket!

Demo: But no more! $250 is my new limit, I will not go above that.

DUMDUMSS: Absolutely...oh! I just looked at the Great Rewards page! You only need 300 more points to be able to order that thing  you've been wanting.

Demo: 300? Really?

DUMDUMSS: Yeah...and it's FREE. FREE stuff is so NICE!

Demo: Free...yeah....free! Free is...good! Free!

DUMDUMSS: Normally it would cost you $30 to buy that! So, by bumping your order up to $300, you are actually SAVING money, because you are getting it for FREE!

Demo: Free...freee.....freeeeeeeeee...

DUMDUMSS: Not to mention, $300 means a level 2 hostess set! You could get this one, you've been wanting it!

Demo: Yeah! Yeah!

DUMDUMSS: So what can we add to get up to $300, besides those supplies for class? How about....Halloween sets? You've got two on your wishlist, and you should really order those Halloween sets right away too so you can start making samples!

Demo: Hey, you are so right! I need them ASAP!

DUMDUMSS: You do! You do need them right away!

Demo: Okay! Let's put them on! (Noise of clicking keys) Wait a minute. The supplies, plus those two sets together, with the wheel that matches, which after all, I should order too because there is no point in getting it later, as well as the Halloween DSP which, if I want to make samples, I will definitely need, comes to $75!!! That takes me up to $325!! Too much! I need to take something off....but what?

DUMDUMSS: We've already been OVER THIS! You can't take ANYTHING off!

Demo: Sigh...you're right, I can't.

DUMDUMSS: No, you can't. You have to order all this stuff...and you know...

Demo: What now?

DUMDUMSS: I shouldn't say anything!

Demo: No, no, go ahead!

DUMDUMSS: You're pretty close to the next level of $350. And if you have a $350 order, you will get 2% more in volume rebate this month! That's like...(clicking keys) $20! That's like a free stamp set!

Demo: Ooooohhh! I forgot about volume rebate! I'd be...

DUMDUMSS: SAVING money by bumping your order up to $350!

Demo: Saving money...

DUMDUMSS: That's right. SAVING money. You should do it. You could add this set here on your wish list!

Demo: But I wasn't planning on ordering that until closer to Christmas; it is a Christmas set after all.

DUMDUMSS: But you know you should really have at least one more new Christmas set to show at your open house! Remember, stampers start thinking about their Christmas cards earlier and earlier! You don't want to drop the ball!

Demo: Okay, I'll do it!

DUMDUMSS: Hurrah! I'll add it...oh, and now you've got an extra $5 in hostess bennies! Let's look at the wish list!

Demo: $5 doesn't buy much, but I can always use...um...more dimensionals, I guess.

DUMDUMSS: Booooooorrrrinnnnggg!

Demo: I know, but I go through a lot of them, so they are always useful.

DUMDUMSS: Oh! Oh! I just noticed something!

Demo: What?

DUMDUMSS: Your downline has been selling up a storm!

Demo: They have? Last time I looked, they weren't doing that well.

DUMDUMSS: Well, that has certainly changed! How cool for you, you can now get...oh.

Demo: I can get what?

DUMDUMSS: Sigh...well, if you had just $50 more, you would be up to the required sales level to be paid at your title level for full downline overrides.

Demo: $50 more?!?!? No, no...I can't do that! I'd have to sell...I don't have enough retired to sell to cover that. Won't work!

(silence)

DUMDUMSS: Wait! Remember how your sister said she'd buy that thing you got at Michael's? The one you never use? Why not sell it to her and use the money to bump up your order?

Demo: Well...I was PLANNING on using that! Sometime, anyway...

DUMDUMSS: It's been in your stamp room 4 months and you haven't used it yet! Are you ever going to?

Demo: Wellll....NO, I will NOT sell that. I want it.

DUMDUMSS: Okay, okay! So  you need to sell something else. But what?

Demo: Yeah, what?

(long silence)

DUMDUMSS: Heheheh...no, no way.

Demo: What?

DUMDUMSS: Never mind!

Demo: No, what? C'mon, tell me!

DUMDUMSS: Well, I just had an idea for something you could sell...but no, you wouldn't do that to..

Demo: Who? What?

DUMDUMSS: Heheheh...well, I was thinking about that set of golf clubs that your husband has.

Demo: I can't sell those! He'd kill me!

DUMDUMSS: C'mon, he hasn't used them in 10 years!

Demo: I know! But they are his clubs! (short pause) And anyway, who would buy them?

DUMDUMSS: Remember how Amy's husband was saying how much he liked them and if you ever wanted to sell to call him? Remember?

Demo: Oh, yeah...

DUMDUMSS: Hubby would never miss them. Really. Think about it!

(long silence)

Demo: As much as I hate to say it, you're probably right. He is so much into Xbox these days, he'd probably never even notice.

DUMDUMSS: Nope! So...what are you going to do?

Demo: I'm gonna sell 'em!

DUMDUMSS: And then what?

Demo: Bump up my order!

DUMDUMSS: That's it! And now you can get a level two AND a level one hostess set! And $45 in free stuff!

Demo: Free! Yay!

Kinder just to end it here...as you can imagine, it could possibly go on until Demo has sold everything that isn't nailed down so she can bump her order up to dizzying heights!

What is the cure for Demo Math? I hate to tell you, but it requires someone to administer a sound slap to the demonstrator's face while in the midst of her math frenzy! And since these episodes often occur at late hours of the night after the demonstrator's spouse and children have long since gone to bed, this disease runs unchecked, leaving chaos, depleted bank accounts, and, on the plus side, clean and tidy garages and storage areas in its wake!

What? You're wondering where my order started and how long the inner dialog strung me along and where it left me? That's a very personal question! Humph! You know what? I ain't a tellin'! So there!

But I bet you want to know just what I had on my first order! Oh, all right!

115951 Stampin' Up! Timeless Type Alphabet Junior
115187 Beware Pirates
115181 Extreme Elements
113824 Greenhouse Garden
115354 Scenic Season
115460 From the Crypt
115954 Stampin' Up! Two Tags Bigz Die
117100 Woodgrain
116628 Jumbo Snowflake Punch
116629 Butterfly Punch
118373 Ribbon Sampler (demos only!)
115952 Stampin' Up! Hi Embosslit
115672 Merry Moments DSP
115680 Kaleidoscope DSP
115670 Nouveau Chic DSP
115677 Cast-A-Spell DSP
115617 Chocolate Chip 1 1/4" striped grosgrain
115608 Real Red 3/4" polka-dot grosgrain
115328 Extreme Guitar
116313 Playground Buttons
115964 Stampin' Up! Elegant Bouquet Embossing Folder
115963 Stampin' Up! Final Press Embossing Folder
115554 Simple Snowflake Single Stamp
117680 Bulk Buy Designer Buttons
117350 Orchard Ribbon Originals Bulk
115962 Perfect Details Texturz Plate
115950 Stampin' Up! Scallop Square
115223 Medallion
115558 Little Boo Single Stamp
115334 Country Morning Level 1 Hostess Set
114399 Asian Artistry Level 2 Hostess Set

I know it seems like a lot....but some of it was FREE! Really! And with my volume rebate...well...NEVER MIND!!! And thank goodness for selling all those retired stamps on Craigslist, 'cause now my husband's golf clubs are quite safe, thank you! Ta!

A Really Rockin' Graduation Card

Did you miss me? Life gets so busy around here sometimes!

I decided to give you a little break from the dribble of Artisan UnAward winning entries and show you something that has SIN written all over it.

 

Yes, SIN!!!

The SIN of RUBBAHDULTERY!!!

What? What did you think I meant?

ANYWAY, my husband had a gig on Saturday at a graduation party. The graduate was another member of the band and she has been playing blues harp since before she was 9 years old. Dan has played in her band for almost as long, so she's like a little sister. So Dan asked me to make a card for her. I wanted to tie in the music thing, make it look really COOL, plus work in the school colors, which were, unfortunately, blue and orange.
Yeah, blue and orange. Not the easiest color combination to work with. How do I, even as wonderfully talented as I am (YILM!) get around BLUE and ORANGE!?!?!?

Well, it wasn't easy, but I think I just may have pulled it off! Lookie:

Ingredients: (SU! unless otherwise noted) Stamps - Great Grads (SU!), Rock Star (Inkadinkadoo); Paper - Brilliant Blue, Tangerine Tango, Whisper White, Basic Grey Ambrosia PP; Ink - Brilliant Blue, Tangerine Tango, Summer Sun, Versamark; Other - Cuttlebug Typewriter Alphabet dies, 1 3/4" circle punch, Clear EP, Maya Road swirl ribbon, Whisper White Organza ribbon, Square Fire brads, dimensionals, brayer, Orange EP (retired)

GOJOMACIOUS!!!! (YILM!) I never thought I'd have much of a use for orange EP, but it's a good thing I hung onto the Bold Brights EP assortment I bought back when SU! had more embossing powder in the catalog.

The technique is, of course, Joseph's Coat Inside-Out, one of the techniques I unvented a few years back. You can see the tutorial for it here.

Well, I better get back to doing what I do best, goofing off. Ta!

Psssssst...c'mere! I gots sumthin' ta show yez....

Good morning! I am going to show you another Artisan project and I believe I have the intestinal fortitude today to do that without an repining or whining! Wow!

Now I have to tell you that I showed this to some friends of mine after I entered and at the time they were discussing those seed catalogs you get in the spring and how they thought of them as "gardener's p*rn" because of the extravagant photographs of blooming nature.

And I've thought of this page as my "Garden P*rn" page ever since! Yes, I am weird and twisted, but you love me anyway, dontcha?  Lookie:

Ingredients: (all SU!) Stamps - Baroque Motifs, Jumbo Outline Alphabet; Paper - Raspberry Tart DSP, Cameo Coral, Cameo Coral textured, Bravo Burgundy, Kiwi Kiss, Rose Red; Ink - Versamark, Rose Red Craft, Rose Red marker; Other- White embossing powder, Clear Embossing Powder, Circle Scissor Plus, Paper piercing tool, Fire Circle rhinstone brads, Kiwi Kiss/Very Vanilla satin ribbon, Photo corner punch, sponge wedges, dimensionals

Iiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt'ssss

SupercalifragilistickixpialiGOJUS! (YILM!) I wasn't sure, originally, that the color scheme from the Raspberry Tart DSP would end up looking good with these photographs of my backyard peonies, with their very different pink shades, but somehow the warm Cameo Coral just popped the photographs better than if the colors had been an exact match.

Here's the journaling (a bit harder to read here in my scan):

The kiss of the sun for pardon,
    The song of the birds for mirth,--
One is nearer God’s heart in a garden
    Than anywhere else on earth.

Dorothy Frances Gurney

and

Peonies will break your heart. In Michigan, it’s a rare year when you can enjoy them for more than a day before it rains and you end up with sodden, limp blooms. This year we got lucky and enjoyed the beautiful blossoms for a few days before they were gone.

June 1, 2007

Well, it's 8 AM and there was some talk of going to Kalamazoo for the day today. So I should get dressed and eat some breakfast. Ta!

More Fancy Schmancy Folds and some FAQs

For class tomorrow, I have developed three more cards. This first one is a blast from the past! These were VERY popular 5 years ago, so I thought I would revisit this fold. This is called a basket card:

Ingredients: (all SU!) Stamps - Really Retro; Paper - Sweet Always DSP, Regal Rose, Pink Pirouette, Pumpkin Pie, Chocoalte Chip; Ink - Chocolate Chip; Other - Stampin' Up! Birds & Blooms Sizzlet dies, Pumpkin Pie striped grosgrain, Trio Flower Punch, Small Oval punch, Little Leaves Sizzlet die, eyelets, Chocolate Chip marker, dimensionals, sponge wedge

This is what it looks like open:

GOJUS!!! (YILM!) You were waiting for that, weren't ya? To make this card, mark your cardfront at the bottom center (2 3/4") and 2 3/4" up from the bottom on the left and right sides. Score a line between the center mark and the right and left side marks, then fold the points to the center.

Then proceed to fill with whatever you like. Would you like to see the one I did 5 years ago? Okay!

And considering it was 5 years ago, when I had not yet achieved the full range of my mojoness, this is still pretty STINKIN' CUTE! (YILM!)

This next card is called a Spring Card and was featured on Splitcoaststampers: Tutorial by Sandy Hulsart:

Ingredients: (All SU!) Stamps: Very Versatile; Paper - A Walk in the Park DSP, Baja Breeze, Cameo Coral, So Saffron; Ink - Baja Breeze, Cameo Coral, Kiwi Kiss, Whisper White Craft, Basic Black; Other - Whisper White Satin ribbon, Word Window punch, Large Oval punch, gold brads, white gel pen.

GOJUS!!! (YILM!)

It's called a Spring card, because it does this:

BOING!

It fits into the 5 1/2" square envelopes we carry.

And last but not least, here's a card that also can be found on Splitcoaststamper's in the resource section, the Diagonal Double Pocket Card:

Ingredients: (all SU!) Stamps - Wonderful You, On Your Birthday, Short & Sweet, Curvy Verses; Paper - Delicate Dots DSP, Sahara Sand, So Saffron, Bashful Blue, Whisper White; Ink - Basic Grey, So Saffron, Certainly Celery, Bashful Blue; Other - Large Oval punch, Pretties Kit, Bashful Blue 1 1/4" double stitched grosgrain, Certainly Celery 1/4" grosgrain, Bashful Blue 1/4" grosgrain, sponge wedges, Sahara Sand marker, 1/4" hole punch, Tag Corner punch

Here's what the tags look like:

 

GOJUS!! (YILM!) I was pretty much forced to use this paper from SAB, because this card uses almost an entire piece of 12 x 12 paper and it's the only DSP where I will have enough pieces of the same pattern for everyone to do the same. You have to cut it down to 8 1/2" x 11", but ACTUALLY...I cut mine down a little further than that so that I could mat it up on a piece of cardstock and still have it fit in an envelope. I cut mine to 8" x 10 1/2" and then did the center scores at 4" for the vertical and 5 1/4" for the horizontal. Just one of those little innovations that make you love me SO MUCH!  (YILM!)

Now I'm going to answer some questions, because I've been getting a lot of the same ones, and it just saves time to get them all out of the way at once:

1) Do you prefer to be called Janine or Jan?

Either one. I grew up being called Janine, except one aunt who liked calling me Jan, I guess because it was more Dutch sounding and she was definitely one of my most Dutch aunts.

However, when I first established my presence online, way back in 1996, the screen name JanineT was already taken, as was any other combination that used "Janine", so I became JanTink and the rest, as they say, was history. I've been JanTink in just about every place on the web I have ever hung out, so when people started to meet me IRL, they naturally started calling me Jan. And I'm okay with that. You can call me Jan or you can call me Janine...just don't call me late for dinner.

2) Where do you get those cute smileys?

I am a proud subscriber to Millan.net. They have some free smileys, but the really cutest ones are only available by subscription. The cost is only $8.95 per six months and I think it's totally worth it.I have to thank Julie Ebersole for introducing me to these super cute smileys!

3) What is your favorite chocolate and can I send you some?

Why, you are so nice to ask!!! Thank you!

In general...cough...I do take chocolate bribes tributes because I know it makes YOU feel so good to pay back for all the cool stuff I show (YILM!) and all the chuckles I pass your way and I really like you to feel good, so...er...yeah...that's my story and I am STICKIN' TO IT!!!

I wouldn't send any chocolate right now, though, because it most likely would melt. Ask me again once it cools down. My email is jantink atsign sbcglobal dotmark net. Once the weather cools off, just drop me a line and I'll give you my address, if you really want to send some, that is. But don't feel like you hafta.

But if you really want to know, or are just morbidly curious, as far as what I like, I am pretty much an equal opportunity chocolate consumer, however...there are some things I really don't like:

• NO cream centers (too sweet).
• NO alcohol flavors. If I am gonna drink, I will do it separately.
• NO peanuts. I don't mind them. Just don't want them in my chocolate, thanks.
• NO weird flavor combinations. I like chocolate to taste like chocolate.

I have developed, over the years, a very particular taste in chocolate, starting as an innocent child who got the chocolate gene from her father, moving through the year I spent in college working at Fanny Farmer's Candy Store (yes, I lost 25 pounds when I stopped working there! They let us eat as much as we wanted, thinking we would get tired of it and stop...guess what? I didn't ever get tired of it!), and on through the years when I actually had more money to spend on chocolate and a willingness to experiment with all kinds of high end chocolate, up until today, when I buy myself one candy bar a week because of shrinking funds and a growing rear.

I really don't like my chocolate overly sweet, but I don't like it too bitter either. I will eat either dark or milk, but no white chocolate (too sweet). Well...except for those Hershey Cookies & Cream Bars. I wouldn't kick them out of my chocolate queue. I love caramel, but I really prefer the chewy (or crunchy) kind over the runny kind.

My very favorite things, not in any particular order:

• Rolos.
• Milky Way.
• Mounds. Love dee coconut, even widdout dee lime. Not Almond Joy (too sweet), though I will choke down the ones my children pass me from their Halloween stashes, just to save their dear sweet little teeth from the sugar...yeah...that's my story and I'm STICKIN' TO IT!
• Lazzaroni Dark Chocolate Bar with Amaretti Crumbles, which is almost impossible to find these days...its' soooo stinkin' good...dang, now I want one!
• Riesens, though they are not kind to my TMJ. I have resolved, though, to suffer through eating them. I wouldn't want them to feel neglected.
• Scor.
• Heath Bars.
• English Toffee bark or Toffee-ettes (See's).
• See's (or any other quality chocolatier's) Dark Chocolate Covered Caramels.
• Lindt truffles, just about any kind, though I like both the dark and milk.
• Dove chocolate, either milk or dark.

In general, I don't care for mint in my chocolate, though I occasionally do have an Andes mint or a York Peppermint Patty. I am not much for nuts, though I don't mind almonds. Just no peanuts. I give that kind of stuff to Dan, who likes it. Who knows why.

But really, I am not THAT fussy. I do eat Hershey bars, kisses and M&M's, because that's what I buy to stick in my candy buckets for my classes and if there is some left, I may eat a few here and there.

Other than that, you will always find me ready for brownies, the ultimate expression of chocolate. And chocolate chip cookies warm out of the oven...'Scuse me, I need to go get a towel...BRB!

ANYWAY, I really don't eat as much chocolate as I used to, even though it sounds like I'm constantly stuffing myself with it. I've been trying to cut back, since I had my thyroid out, because my metabolism is really....reaaaaalllllyyyyyyy....slloooooowwwwww. Sigh. I have been gaining weight ever since. Though I managed to remove (my chiropractor yells at me if I say lose, because that implies I will probably FIND it again) 9 pounds since November, it is a small fraction of what really needs to be...er...encouraged to find the nearest exit.

Well, that about covers it. I'll be back, probably tomorrow with some more FAB projects! Ta!

We interrupt this program...

of Artisan UnAward winning entries, accompanied by whining, complaining, and efforts of self-improvement through humiliation and rejection to bring you an important project!

Yes, my Controlfreaks swaps are in da house! So now I can share! Lookie:

Ingredients: (All SU!) Stamps - Razzle Dazzle, Teeny Tiny Wishes; Paper - Bermuda Bay, Melon Mambo, Crushed Curry, Soft Suede, Whisper White; Ink - Bermuda Bay, Melon Mambo, Crushed Curry, Soft Suede; Other - Stampin' Up! Patterns #1 Texturz Plates, gold brads, Bermuda Bay Polka Dot Grosgrain, dimensionals, sponge wedges, Modern Label punch, Ticket Corner punch

Isn't this GOJUS?!??!? (YILM!)

I particularly love the new Bermuda Bay color. which is why it's such a bummer that SU! is having quality control issues with this ink. The ink changes color over time, the reinkers go first (they turn a kind of Sage Shadow), then the pads slowly do the same, which is why this image is still fine. The ink does not shift after stamping, only in the pad and in the bottle. Luckily, SU! has figured out why the color changes in the pad and the reinker and will be sending everyone new pads and reinkers as soon as the new formulation is manufactured and available. But that means that all of you customer-types are gonna have to wait to order this color for a little longer (you can still get the cardstock and markers!) Apparently, the ink in the marker is not affected by this issue, so it's still possible to get inky in Bermuda Bay while you wait if you buy the markers!

I can't WAIT to put my first order in! For one thing, I love, love, love (did I say love?) NEW SCHTUFF!!! Waiting for that UPS truck with new SCHTUFF to arrive is just like...like... THIS!

And for another thing, I have 5 swaps I have signed up for for convention!!! So I really need more schtuff that is new in the catalog this year! Ack!

For all of you online orderers (is that a word?), the new catalog will be available to order from on July 1st, at 12 N MT. Our demo sites will be down that morning while they are updating them with  new features and connecting to the new catalog. BUT, apparently you may experience a few glitches until about 5 PM MT as they make adjustments to the system, so you may want to hold off on ordering if you want the smoothest experience possible.

Today I'm busy making the last card for Monday's class. I already have a couple more AWESOME fancy folds that I can't wait to show you, but being the evil blogger that I am, I'm gonna make you wait.

I also have another announcement! Last week I had my annual ultrasound and chest x-ray to make sure that my thyroid cancer has not recurred. It's been 5 years and since the tests all came back clear, it's time to PARTAY!!
Should I with ?

Or should I ?

Or just ?

Hmmm...maybe I'll just settle for some and !

Not to mention plenty of praising my Father in heaven! Thank you, Lord!

Time to get busy stampin'! Ta!

Splish Splash!

Sounds good, doesn't it? Actually, as hot as it is here this week, this sounds more like it:

But it doesn't fit in with my theme, ya know? So we'll go back to the bath analogy. Yes, the dribble has filled up the bath tub and it's time to show you yet another UNaward winning project from my attempt to garner fame and fortune:

Ingredients: Stamps - Boatloads of Love, Family Phrases; Paper - Rainbow Sherbet DSP, Apricot Appeal, Whisper White, Green Galore, Tempting Turquoise; Ink - Basic Black, Tempting Turquoise, Apricot Appeal; Other - Bigz Oval Scallop frame, Large Flower punch, Word Window Punch, Wide Oval Punch, Scallop Border Punch, Scallop Circle Punch, A Perfect Day rub-ons, whtie gel pen, sponge wedges, Apricot Appeal grograin, Tempting Turquoise grosgrain, Whisper White grosgrain, Bold Brights brads, eyelet, Target $ Spot bucket.

Yes, it's STINKIN' CUTE!!! (YILM!) And the level of detail is absolutely INSANE! Why didn't they choose me?!?!?!?

{deep breath} I was feeling freaked out about the Artisan Award, but I'm much better now. Really. Much better.

So they didn't appreciate the incredible detail in this paper tole! So what?

So they didn't think this awesome piece of pescetarian punch art made the grade! So what?!?!?

I don't feel unloved! I don't feel REJECTED!

REJECTED!!!

{deep breath}...I used...{deep breath)...I used to feel rejected because of the Artisan Award but I. AM. FEELING. MUCH. BETTER. NOW.

Okay, time to immerse myself in a cardstock bath yet again...it is really the only thing that is fail proof...afterwards, I will be like this again:

Enjoy the rest of  your day and the preettyy colors...ta!

Let the Freak Show Begin!

Welcome to the Tour de Freaks Blog Tour! This month's Freak Show showcases products and stamps from the Last Chance List, formerly known as the Retired List. The sets and some of the products used will soon be unavailable, so you've got a very limited time to order them from me or your favorite SU! demo.

You've just landed here from Cindy Major's blog and I hope you feel right at home! Soon you may grow tired of looking at my projects, (though frankly, I have a hard time understanding WHY! (YILM! or Yes, I Love Myself if you are not familiar with my particular brand of insanity)) and you'll want to go on to the next place on the tour. There will be a button at the end of this post that will take you where you desire, be patient.

I came home from sitting at our church's basement sale yesterday and realized "Oh Holee Crap dear me, the blog tour is tomorrow and I haven't even gotten any cards stamped!" So I pulled up my bra straps boot straps and neglected my family yet again to create for you, my very special readers, because I am SO NICE! (YILM!) And because Julie would KILL ME if I dropped out at this stage in the game! Ack!

I had already removed all the retiring stamps from my shelves and put them in a box for my open house, but there were a few sets that I had put aside to keep for my very ownsome forever and ever. So I rootled through them and made...well,  you'll see! Lookie:

Ingredients (all SU!) Stamps - Morning Soft, Sincere Salutations; Paper - Old Olive, Ballet Blue, Yoyo Yellow, Basic Black, Shimmery White; Ink - Versamark, Ballet Blue, Lovely Lilac, Elegant Eggplant, Yoyo Yellow, Summer Sun, Green Galore, Glorious Green, Old Olive; Other - Black Gingham ribbon, Filligree brads, Wide Oval Punch, Basic Black marker, Texturz Plates Kit #4, White EP, Black EP, sponge wedges, dimensionals

GOJUS!!!! I used the technique that everyone has been using with the Fifth Avenue Floral set to create this masterpiece (YILM!) I love this set and am so sad that it is retiring, but I am keeping it! And if that sounds a bit like this you're probably right!

Onward!

This is another set I just did not get enough time to play with before it retired! So I decided it also need to get a bit of the spotlight today. Lookie:

Ingredients (all SU!) Stamps - Happiness is a Journey; Paper - Urban Oasis DSP, Kraft, Baja Blue; Ink - Versamark, Close to Cocoa, Chocolate Chip (classic & craft), Basic Black; Other - Clear EP, Vintage Brads, Antique Brass Jumbo Eyelets, Metallic Eyelets, Natural hemp, brayer, Color Spritzer Tool, Cutter Kit, Baja Blue striped grosgrain, water spritzer.

GOJUS! (YILM!) If you have read my blog before, you'll know that I've gotten a bit hooked on this paper from the Urban Oasis DSP. It has such a nice antique look to it, so I pulled it out yet again for this card.

But that's not all! I unvented this new background, which I combined with a resist technique with the clear EP. Closer look? Certainly:

I'm calling it Corroded Metal. How did I do it? I'll be happy to tell you, but first you have to take the JanTink Oath of Attribution:

I [insert name here] do solemnly swear that when I use this technique, that I will tell the entire universe that I got it from Jan Tink, the wonderful, kind, thoughtful and SO CREATIVE person who invented it. I promise I will tell the world how nice and thoughtful Jan was to share it with me and how she deserves all the chocolate she gets and then some. I promise that if I post a project to my blog I will include a link back to this post and say how I think Jan really should have won....well, never mind that!

This is how I did it:

1. I sponged a bit of Close to Cocoa ink on some kraft cardstock in a random sort of way.
2. I spritzed some Basic Black ink on as well using the Color Spritzer tool.
3. I dusted using the Embossing Buddy to get rid of any dampness.
4. I stamped the image in Versamark and embossed with clear EP.
5. I brayered over the top of the image using Chocolate Chip ink.
6. I used a sponge to add deeper color with Chocolate Chip and Basic Black inks.
7. I carefully buffed the excess color off of the embossed areas.
8. Then I took a mist bottle that I have filled with water and spritzed the cardstock. After letting the water sit on top for about 10 seconds, I carefully blotted it off. Then I repeated this step one more time to get a few more splatters.

Are you just LOVING ME NOW?!?!? I hope so!

The last thing I have to show you is something using some rub-ons that are just about to exit, stage left. Lookie:

Ingredients: (all SU!) Paper - Whisper White, Chocolate Chip;  Other - Bright Delights Rub-Ons, Window Sheets - Thick, Bigz XL Bag w/Scallop, Flower Fusion, Kiwi Kiss/Very Vanilla Satin ribbon, Earth Elements brads, Hooray Designer Hardware

This was the first time I'd tried cutting out a container from the Thick Window sheets and it came out SO COOL. (YILM!) I used sticky strip to adhere the tabs to the sides...it sticks just enough to keep it together. It pops apart after a while just a bit in the front, but the flap keeps everything together, so that's its precious burden of chocolate kisses stays inside!And it's a simple matter of sticking the popped parts back down.

I actually made this last month, but I kept putting off buying the Hershey Kisses to put inside. Amazing how it took a whole bag for this little container...a few to put inside and the rest...well, let's just say that...um...I had to make sure they tasted right! That's it!

Well, I suppose you can go now. If you really want to, that is.

And really, you should go on to the next stop. After all, you can always come back here, can't you? And, knowing my fellow Freaks, you really will want to visit every single blog on the tour. So if you must...here you go, onward to Shona Watson's blog, accessible by clicking on the button below. Ta!